Laredo, TX: caught

Laredo, TX: caught
Originally uploaded by ryan riedel.

I will make one confession: my time spent at the lake isn't always so idyllic. The other day, I had set up my tent, left it, and walked around the park. As I was ambling to another shore, a park ranger pulled up to me, flashing his lights. "Are you the owner of the green four-runner?" he asked.

"Uh, no," I answered.

"Well then, what are you driving?"

I paused and tried to work up enough moxy to lie about my camping status. "Uh, another car."

"Yeah, then where is it?"

"Well, you know, it's around. On the other side of the hill."

"What hill?"

"You know, the big one. Over there." I pointed from west to south.

"What's the color of your car?" he asked, sniffing my bullshit.

"Uh, well not the color of the four-runner. I'm not who you're looking for."

He looked me up and down, visibly pissed. "Okay," he said, and he pulled away.

I walked on for another ten minutes, and the ranger came up to me again.

"What car are you driving?" he asked, a little more forceful this time.

I knew that I was in for it. It was time for quick wits. "A car."

"And where are you camped? Are you staying the night?"

"Uh, no, um, I'm not staying the night. I'm just walking around the lake. And I already told you where my car was parked."

"By the hill?"

"By the hill."

"So that's not your little blue tent on the waterfront?" he said. "That's not your bike?"

I looked at him and then down at my cycling jacket. "Well, it could be. Do you mean my tent and bike down by the lake."

"What?"

"Yeah, those are mine."

"So are you camping here?"

"Camping? No. No way. I'm just walking. Yeah, I'm walking."

The man shook his head. "So did you pay to enter?" And then everything just went downhill from there. To make this long story short, I did everything I could to placate this man and avoide a fine. I confessed my sins, explained my project, played kissy-poo and generally offered to comply with the officer in any way that he'd ask. By the end of it, I left him with a handshake and a business card, smiling and happy. He let me keep my spot by the lake, eleven dollars poorer.